1. The island of Tuovo
  2. The care of llamas
  3. The play King John
  4. Endocrinology
  5. The literature of Japan
  6. The history of Luxembourg
  7. Strategy in the game of Go
  8. How Silly Putty is made
  9. Why anybody would vote for Sarah Palin for anything
  10. Life after death

 

 

Tailgaters.  They are not going to get anywhere sooner, for Christ's sake.

Stuff you can't take apart and fix if you need to.

Packaging you need an acetylene torch to break through.

Software or anything that won't work and you know it's your fault.

People who stand too close to you in a line.

People who leave their grocery carts in the middle of the aisle while they walk away to pick something off a shelf.

People who leave carts in parking spots at, say, Home Depot.  Or worse, in the handicap parking space.  I've seen it.  Really.

Pill bottles filled up most of the way with cotton balls.

People in front of you in line at Target who strike up a conversation with the cashier.

People at any store who take several minutes to dig out of their purse the right number of pennies to pay exactly the right amount.  I've handed people like this coins out of my pocket just to move them along.

Microsoft Word insisting on doing it its way instead of mine.

Content-free warning labels on everything.  A case of too many lawyers.

Finding library books after, I mean moments after, I have paid for them.

Breaking the little plastic spoon that comes with the little ice creams containers as you are trying to get your first bite.

Use of the word "allegedly" on any news broadcast.  Too many lawyers.

People saying that there are two sides to every story.  No, there are millions of sides.

People in front of me at the salad bar taking way too much time selecting the next ingredient, especially if they then take about five garbanzo beans.

Waiting for a stream cars to pass so I can drive across to the far lane and when a gap finally happens, one single car from the other direction blocks me.

People who spit gum into the urinal.  Someone then has to take it out.

Forty-five minutes of trailers for violent movies shown before the one I paid to see.

Instructions that don't match what they propose to help you with.

Anything with "Some assembly required."

Christmas light strings that come with replacement bulbs, but as soon as you attempt to replace one the whole string goes bad and can't be fixed.

People who don't pick up after their dog's dump in a park or my yard.

Plastic bags coming out of a dispenser in the produce department that can't be opened.

People who reach way in back of the dairy container to get the freshest carton of milk.

People who talk loudly on cell phones in public.

People who amble through parking lot lanes at their own slow speed while cars stack up behind them.  Crosswalks too.

People on cell phones driving on the freeway at about forty-five miles per hour.

Two people driving side by side for miles on the freeway at exactly the posted speed while traffic stacks up behind them. 

People who drive the posted speed in the sane lane while every other lane is going ten or fifteen miles per hour faster.

People who walk onto my lawn and rip handfuls of lilac blossoms off my bushes without asking.

People who have millions of buckthorn trees on their property and don't do anything about it.