1. Vote Democratic
  2. Paint ceilings white
  3. Never spend principal
  4. Tip 20%
  5. Never get below a quarter tank
  6. Pick up pennies
  7. Buy the slightly bruised apple
  8. Assume I will lose twenty minutes on my way out the door
  9. Expect that nothing will work out completely
  10. Make hay while the sun shines
  1. Have sex in an igloo
  2. Be on a deserted island with Dick Cheney
  3. Prepare a dinner with Jeffrey Dahmer
  4. Choose Quasimodo over Christie Brinkley
  5. Win an argument with Gort.  (If you are under fifty-five, Google it.)
  6. Put butter up the ass of a wildcat with a red hot poker
  7. Circumcise a wide-awake polar bear by myself
  8. Eat a live baboon
  9. Attend a Barry Manilow concert
  10. Tell George W. Bush that his coat is on fire


Christie Brinkley