1. Father

2. Husband

3. Son

4. Brother

5. Friend

6. Citizen

7. Scholar

8. Artist

9. Community member

10. Sojourner









Here are some of my favorite attempts by non-English-speaking people attempting to communicate with English-speaking people:

In a Bucharest, Romania, hotel a sign attempts to inform guests that the elevator was out of order with: The lift is being fixed for the next day.  During that time, we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Belgrade, Yugoslavia, hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor.  If the cabin should enter more persons, each should press a number of wishing floor.  Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In a Russian hotel across from the Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursdays.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you with nothing to hope for.

At a Bangkok drycleaner: Drop your trousers here for the best results.

Outside a Hong Kong dress shop: Ladies have fits upstairs.

From the Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors.  These were executed over the past two years.

In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

In an advertisement for a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

A detour sign in Japan: Stop.  Drive sideways.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit, you are welcome to it.

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals.  If you have suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed the water served in this hotel.

From a Japanese information booklet on the use of the hotel air conditioner: Cooles and heates: If you want just condition of the warm in your room, please control yourself.

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When a passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn.  Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage, then tootle him with vigor.

And one I saw myself in an elevator in Guangzhou: Floor eight: The Intoxication Chamber.