Togdal! Togdal! Jerb! Jerb!

     The Inkritch phrase "Togdal.  Togdal.  Jerb.  Jerb." is an important one for all Inkritch speakers to know.  Remember that the medulla oblongata seizes control of language functions when the person discovers that damage to either his body or mind is no longer avoidable.  The person in the photograph has just made that transition.  Rather, his circumstances have made that transition for him.  An exact translation of this phrase into English is "Doctor.  Doctor.  Help.  Help."  Usually a person in urgent need of medical services will express his concerns in Inkritch.  Simultaneously with the transition to Inkritch, the autonomic system suppresses pain receptors which in turn creates a period of several seconds in which the person can experience the classic Inkritch emotional moment: awareness of a complete loss of control, awareness of serious pain signals in the nerves and microseconds away from consciousness, and an urge to laugh.  In the Inkritch community, laughter in critical moments is not laughter at pain.  In the tradition of the Three Stooges - remember Moe hitting Larry's forehead with a hammer? - it is the novel circumstances - Imagine being so upset and indifferent to the experience of other people that you would hit them in the forehead with a hammer, Larry doesn't appear to experience much pain and the hammer sounds like it has hit a bell, not flesh and bone - that arouse humor.  A typical response from a doctor confronted with an injury so severe that the patient has lapsed into Inkritch is "Oh, cloze. [Oh, gross.]" and turning away to vomit and spare him anymore anguish at the sight of a wound that bad.  This, of course, only accelerates the information feedback cycle in the patient.  Now he has new information: his injury is so severe and correspondingly hilarious that even a seasoned doctor involuntarily drops his lunch.

   Inkritch is written into the genetic code of all humans and, regardless of the speaker's primary language, be it Malay or Finnish, in times of severe stress, all humans lapse into this primitive natural language.  That is why the most commonly uttered Inkritch phrases are "Fud's jabbenink?" [What's happening?], "oh, kno" [Oh, no], and "oh, zhid" [Oh, shit].  This page will differentiate between the second and third of these phrases.

Oh, kno

   If the person in the first picture below had a radio microphone in his helmet, you would hear him say, "Oh, kno" [Oh, no.]  (Remember that Inkritch is written phonetically whenever possible.  Therefore, "kno" is spoken sounding both the k and the n.)  The definition of "Oh, kno" includes awareness of a problem.  The awareness of a problem triggers the autonomic system to suppress language functions in the frontal cortex and activate the language functions in the medulla oblongata, which is Inkridge.

Oh, shjid

   The person in the second picture is not saying, "Oh, kno".  He is saying "Oh, zhid" [Oh, shit]. 

"Oh, kno" and "Oh, zhid" have very similar meanings.  "Oh, zhid" is a more intense expression than "Oh, kno".  "Oh, kno" means "I am now aware of having lost some control of my situation and I am fairly sure this new circumstance is not going to turn out very well for me."  "Oh, zhid", on the other hand, can be translated into the English statement, "I am now aware that I have completely lost control of my situation and I am certain that my body is about to sustain severe damage.  I hope it doesn't hurt very much."  "Zhid" starts the same way "Zhivago" starts