Whenever I show people the expensive fountain pens I own, they say, “Oh, I would never buy an expensive pen because I know I would lose it.”  Everyone says that.
    In the three years I have owned these pens, I have never lost one. Until today.  But I did not lose it in the way people fear they might.  Usually a lost pen just disappears and the bereaved has no clear recollection of when the pen went a different way.  But I knew the instant I lost the pen I had paid $55 for at a 50% off sale when Bertelson Brothers went out of business last spring.  I knew when I pulled the beautiful, red, chewed-up, enameled brass barrel of the pen out of the garbage disposal.  I had set that part on the counter by the sink when I had put the nib into a glass of water to clean it. The following morning, I stuffed the refuse of making my lunch down the disposal and turned it on. When the terrible clatter began, I snapped the disposal back off. In the handful of carrot peelings and broccoli stems, I found the barrel of my pen.
    Now I suppose people will start saying to me, "Oh, I would never buy and expensive pen because I know I would just accidently grind it up in the garbage disposal."